Tantrums and meltdowns are one of the hardest things to handle as parents, it brings all sorts of feelings, fears, insecurities and a high level of anxiety. The confusing part is to understand where this is coming from, most parents believe it comes from the child, they blame the child for their emotional state. They often say things like “You are making angry”, “Don’t make yell”. And as long they blame others, be their child or anyone else for their actions, they will be always at the mercy of their conditioning reacting to their triggers and unable to do anything different. I love to teach parents about what’s really going on behind our automatic reactions, but my focus today is about what to do to take the first step towards connection when our kids are tantruming.
There is one first thing to do and this is a crucial step and the foundation of your parenting. It is to PAUSE. You can’t access consciousness without it. So, in other words, do nothing. This seems like an easy step but until you try it, you will realize that it is harder than you think, because what appears to be doing nothing, it actually requires a lot from you. When you pause, not to check it off the list but when you intentionally pause, you are dealing with ego, limiting beliefs, judgment, unhealthy patterns, conditioning, feelings, emotions, self-control, self-compassion, empathy, observation, etc. It is not easy to pause.
Why is a PAUSE so important as a first step? Because it sends a signal to your brain to get out of emergency mode, out of fight or flight. And why is this so important? Because only then you will be able to engage your thinking part of the brain and you will be able to gain control of yourself, activate your awareness and be the parent your child needs.
So, start practicing taking a pause and journaling your triggers, that’s all. This crucial step will start you off on the path of Conscious Parenting and you will never be the same. It will be the best gift for your kids and the world because we change the world by changing ourselves.
-Isabel Stafford, Family Alchemist™
#isabelstafford #firststeptoconnection #pause #tantrums #triggers #consciousparenting #limitingbeliefs #awareness #changeyourself #noblaming